The holidays can be a fun – yet stressful – time for all of us. But, for those, especially children, with sensory overload issues, the holidays can mean more than stress. Avoid some of the power struggles, meltdowns and overloads with these tips.

1. Comfort is key. No matter how cute the dress looks or how adorable the pants tie together the outside, if your little one doesn’t like them, ask yourself is it worth the fight? Let your child wear comfortable clothes that don’t bind or chafe. It won’t hurt to let him wear his favorite sweat shirt or faded shoes, and it could help get your holiday dinner off on the right foot.
2. Schedule. Schedule. Schedule. This is key. Give your child a schedule of events for special activities, like Thanksgiving Day. It can be a written schedule or one with pictures for younger kids. Your child will feel calmer and safer knowing what is coming next. If you have a list of events, consider letting your child cross them off once they are complete, and discuss the schedule regularly. If your child is older, you can incorporate them into the planning stages so they feel they are part of the decisions.
3. Physical activity before the party. If you have time, engage your child in some physical activity before the festivities begin. Help him get out the wiggles before you are trapped in a car for hours or sitting at a table for long periods of time. He doesn’t need the extra energy and it can help him maintain his control around others.
4. Create a quite space. If you’re going someplace else for your holiday dinner, talk with the host beforehand and see if there is a quiet room where your child can go to have time to himself. Work with your child to make a “Do Not Disturb” sign to put on the door so he feels like he is part of the solution. Tell him it is ok for him to spend time alone and relax away from the crowd.
5. Smells of the season. Some children are sensitive to smells, even things that we consider appealing. If you are hosting the festivities and your home is already swimming in the aromas of pumpkin pie, turkey and all of extra food, skip the scented candles. It might be a little thing, but little things add up. In addition, if you want to play music, pick something soothing and keep it low.
6. Pick a code word. Choose a code word your child can use when feeling overwhelmed and needs a break. If he uses the code word, respond right away. Giving children some control during activities that may be overstimulating for them will reduce anxiety, and help them stay calm and organized. Knowing there is a way "out" is important.
7. Consider scaling back. Holiday parties and dinners have a way of expanding exponentially. What might start as meager plans can quickly turn into multiple house visits, parties with fiends and hours of visits. If you have a child with sensory challenges who gets overwhelmed by too much noise and activity, think about cutting back your guest list or outings. Most people will understand if you say, “It just got to be too much, but we would love to have everyone over for a barbecue this summer when we can all spread out outside and enjoy the weather.”

 
Let us know what you have planned to help your child cope with the holiday season.

Dear CS,
 
I come from a place where nobody gives me any responsibilities, nothing to take pride in.  My experience in the Community Solutions program has been nothing but great for me, it made me question my career path. . . maybe I want to be a mentor. I want to help more young children, girls in particular, that have a similar history as me, to show them that their situations don’t dictate their future.
 
It’s amazing how some things play out, I was in the Community Solutions programs for 2 years, I believe. When I first started in the after school program, I never spoke because I was still upset at the fact that I was in foster care.  I didn’t want to be there at all. I started to open up months after starting.  I grew to love Mr. John and Mr. Joe, my two favorite staff! They never gave up on me, everyday they would try to get me to speak, they did everything but it was on me to stop giving one word responses and hold a conversation with them. After that it’s history, now I talk holes in everybody’s head.

I was in the CS Brighter Futures summer camp as well.  I liked it, it was a great learning experience. I got a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken soon after the summer camp was over.  I learned so many things about the business world… how to dress, how to properly interview, how to speak, all that good stuff.
 
This summer I reached out the Mr. Larry for a job opportunity because I quit my job at Kentucky Fried Chicken and needed a job for the summer. He gave me a chance as a camp counselor.  Being a camp counselor was probably the most fun but stressful thing I’ve ever done. There were so many different personalities who needed very different kinds of attention, it blew my mind. There were 3 pre-teen girls that I connected with because in every single one I saw a part myself. Even though they didn’t like my leadership or take it seriously because I was closer in age to them than everybody else, I just wanted to guide them in the right direction. In my opinion. they believe that fun equals trouble, which is so untrue. I wanted them to understand that I’ve done everything they have done and probably more. It was short lived though, they didn’t want my guidance. Besides that, I got to be a child again, I probably had more fun on some field trips than most of the children. Just being a part of the CS staff or family was amazing, it made me realize how much I loved to be around children.
 
I just want to thank you all for giving me the experiences and continuing to help me throughout my senior year of high school, preparing me for college and the adult world.

Thank you,
Diamond

Virginia Beach, VA - September 17, 2018 . .  Community Solutions is proud to announce that one of Hampton Roads' most-esteemed helping professionals has joined the Community Solutions team to equip our youth with tools for success. Help us welcome, Dr Gwendolyn Cherry.

Dr. Cherry graduated Cum Laude from Norfolk State University in 1980 with her undergraduate degree in Special Education; Cum Laude in 1991 from Regent University with her Master Degree in Education;  in 2007 earned her Doctorate Degree in Educational Leadership from Nova Southeastern University, Miami, FL.  In 2009, she studied abroad at Oxford University’s Hertford College in England. Dr. Cherry earned a second Master Degree in Government with a certification in Law and Public Policy from Regent University in May 2010.
 
Dr. Cherry served as the Director of the Office of Youth Development for the City of Norfolk; and has extensive experience as a teacher, behavioral specialist, dean, consultant, and school administrator with Norfolk Public Schools. Dr. Cherry retired in 2008 from Norfolk Public Schools with over 33 years of service.
 
After retiring, Dr. Cherry has served as Executive Director, AMIKids Norfolk,   Administrator, Second Chances Youth Program; and Education Consultant with Family Systems II, Inc. and Community Solutions academic programs. She is the owner of Cherry Education Consulting, LLC.

Our Community Solutions' families are going to benefit greatly with Dr Cherry on the team!
 

Virginia Beach, VA- August 27, 2018. . .The days are still warm and the sun may be a little brighter for parents as it's that time of year again - back to school!  As parents prepare students for back to school, they often get caught in the details of purchasing school supplies and backpacks.    Those are important, of course; but the Social Workers, Case Managers, Probation Officers and other helping professionals realize that back-to-school for many families means more than arming students with simple school supplies. 

For many, back-to school means facing the challenges and battles that come with daily homework.  It means facing the inevitable struggle to make sure their student actually goes to class. It means worrying over whether or not their student will participate in the education process or even socialize at all with any of their peers.

Here at Community Solutions, we know the struggle families and students face.  The helping professionals of Hampton Roads have turned to Community Solutions for the past 17 years to provide resources to the youth in our community.    We meet the students where they need it most:  in the home, in the school or in the community.  During the school year, two of our programs stand out the most in helping students succeed in navigating their educational journey.

After-School Mentoring
Does the student need extra help on homework or school assignments? Community Solution's Afterschool Program offers a convenient plan that helps students realize their fullest potential.  The after-school program offers 1-to-1 guidance and mentoring for optimal results.

Out of School or Suspension
There are times, despite best efforts, that we find students in a situation that suspends them from school.  The CS Out of School & Suspension Programs are structured daily activities in a Community Solutions' Classroom.  Parent-child meetings are held to develop a plan to ensure success and to avoid repeat suspensions.

Any Social Worker, Case Manager or other helping professional interested in more information on Community Solutions' youth programs, please drop us a line or call us at 757-461-5098.  Together, we can make this school year a positive experience for our young people!

Virginia Beach, VA - July 31, 2018 . . .August 1st is National Respect Your Parents Day. Here at Community Solutions we work with parents throughout Hampton Roads to help strengthen families and empower parents with the tools necessary to raise their children to thrive and survive in an ever-changing world.

Part of a well-adjusted family life is a mutual respect for one another. In honor of National Respect Your Parents Day, we'd like to share a few tips to for parents to teach children the value of respect.

1. Be the Example. Children learn from our behavior. If they see us snapping a folks or being impolite, they will certainly replicate those same behaviors.
2. Teach your child social interaction skills. If may seem like it should go without saying, but teaching your child to say "Please" and "Thank you" is paramount. When your child enters school or your teen gets his or her first job, understanding and practicing polite and respectful social skills will go a long way.
3. Set realistic expectations around their behavior. Children, teens and tweens will definitely not be perfect all the time. Communicate your expectations to your child, helping them understand what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they don’t meet those expectations. If they meet your goals, certainly give them credit, but also if they don’t, follow through on whatever consequences you’ve set up for them.
4. Be respectful when you correct your child. When your child is being disrespectful, remember to correct them in a respectful manner. Yelling and getting upset will more than likely escalate their poor behavior. Try pulling your child aside and firmly talk with them, there's no need to shout or embarrass them. You can use these moments as teaching moments, examples of staying calm under pressure.
5. Don't be too hard on yourself. Our job as parents is to teach our kids and model the behavior we hope to instill in them. You often times never know from hour to hour what kind of mood your tween may be in, hormones and emotions run wild. Do your best to not over react and remember you are doing the best you can.

Community Solutions offers Parenting Groups and Parent Mentoring programs. Give us a call at (757)461-5098 or contact us to learn more.